


When building blocks crash down

by SophieRomanoff97



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avengers Family, Avengers Feels, BAMF Clint Barton, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt Wanda Maximoff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, POV Wanda Maximoff, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Civil War (Marvel), Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-02 02:11:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15786822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieRomanoff97/pseuds/SophieRomanoff97
Summary: Canon divergence of Civil War, only at the very end of the film.Everything in Wanda's life has been building and building. Unstable block on top of unstable block. This is what happens when the tower falls and the blocks come crashing down.TW: graphic suicide attempt, graphic depictions of trying to save someone's life (cpr etc) please be aware.





	1. The Tower Comes Down

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I have like a million fics already on the go but ya girl just rewatched Civil War like she does every couple of months and well inspiration struck. This is gonna be pretty dark, just a warning. TW's for graphic suicidal thoughts and suicide attempt. As well as depictions of someone trying to save a life (cpr) etc.
> 
> All canon compliant up until near the very end. When Steve gets into the compound to get his team out, he finds something he'd never expected. For the sake of this fic, Wanda was placed with the other three in the same place. For drama purposes y'know.

Things had been building and building since Lagos.

But before that, since Sokovia. Since the city fell and her only living relative died.

Before that, when a shell blew out young Wanda's apartment and she was forced to watch her mother and father die. 

As she held her breath and held her brothers hand, waiting for death.

So one could say things had been building for a very long time.

But the thing is, when things keep building and they become more and more unstable, eventually they break. They fall. They collapse.

Wanda's collapse began when she watched her parents die.

Her hatred for Tony Stark, her yearning for power so she could make him pay for taking her family, was one unstable building block.

Ultron came. Another block.

Feeling Ultron. Knowing what was in his mind. Finding out that Tony Stark was not the bad guy. Another block.

Working to try and save Sokovia. Block.

People dying, buildings crashing, hiding because she was so scared. Another block.

Pietro. Dying. Her mind splintered. She felt it all. Another block.

The next one took a while to come, but it did.

Lagos. So many people dead. Her fault. A block on top of the completely unstable building foundations.

The news, everyone blaming her. A block.

Trying to make it right. Failing. Inside a cell.

The last block fell into place until suddenly...it all came crashing down around her.

They'd been there for less than twenty four hours, but Wanda couldn't take it anymore.

She deserved to be there.

She deserved to be kept prisoner, to have her powers rendered useless by the collar around her neck, to be watched and talked about.

But it wasn't enough.

She'd brought pain to so many people. Brought death. 

It didn't matter that she hadn't meant to. That she'd been trying to be good. It didn't matter.

They were still dead. 

Death.

The only thing the young woman could think about for 24 hours straight.

Those she had killed.

The lifeless bodies. Their grieving families. Lives unfulfilled.

Her thoughts turned form the death she had wrought to her own death.

Would it not have been better if she'd died alongside her brother?

If she'd never been able to continue down this path.

How many would be alive?

She didn't deserve to live.

Not when she'd taken life from so many.

She didn't have her powers.

Not really, anyway. But she could still...sort of feel others a little.

She could feel Clint's frustration. His anger.

Sam's willingness to believe Tony would do the right thing.

Scott's enthusiasm on the outside, but the concern he buried down inside.

She felt the shift in the people watching the cameras.

Their attention scattered. Fighting. Pain as they went down.

Steve.

She knew then she had about three minutes to pull this off.

She shouldn't be allowed to leave the prison.

She would only cause more harm the moment she left.

They didn't have a lot in their cells.

A bed. A blanket. Toilet. 

There was nothing on the ceiling but...

She moved quickly. The bed wasn't nailed down. Probably because the prison layout changed so often. It didn't matter. 

She pushed the bed onto its side then pushed it to the corner of the room.

She moved it again, so the length of the bed now climbed up the wall.

It wouldn't hold her body weight from the top, but from the middle...that was all she needed. She was short.

She quickly ripped the blanket into two pieces, one shorter.

She tied the longest part of the blanket around the middle of the bed.

She could reach the loop of blanket easily but if she held her knees up with the rest of the blanket, if she tied her legs with her knees bent, it would work.

She would not touch the floor.

She could hear voices from the other cells, probably Clint.

"Wanda? Kid, what the hell are you doing in there? Wanda?!"

"I'm sorry." The woman cleared her throat, closed her eyes, and slipped her head through the loop.

Steve was still fighting.

He was probably about two minutes out from unlocking the doors.

That would be enough time for her to die.

"What are you sorry for? Hey, talk to me." She heard Clint again. 

"We won't be here forever, this isn't permanent. Wanda?" 

Her time was quickly dwindling.

She wiped her eyes and took one deep breath before she put one leg up behind her, then the other, in seconds she had tied the blanket around her legs.

The bed frame creaked as Wanda pitched forward.

Her body immediately began fighting for air, pained, grating chokes escaping.

Her ears buzzed and her hearing faded in and out.

She didn't know if the pounding was in her head or if it was Clint.

She would be sorry to not get to see him again.

More chokes.

Her nails scratched at the noose but even as her body screamed for air, it was too late to back out now, even if she could have.

Unbearable agony, pressure in her head, like her eardrums would burst.

She watched through heavy lids as a figure, shrouded in black spots came towards her.

Death?

Her eyelids slipped closed, hand dropping from her neck, hanging at her side as she lost consciousness. 

Out of air, out of time.

I'll see you soon, brother.


	2. Clint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others perspective. Also for the sake of this fic, Steve did not come alone to the prison. T'Challa is waiting with a helicopter outside. But, instead of taking Steve to Wakanda like planned...well, things change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter coming very soon. Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Ps the little bit I put in there about Clint having been there before with Natasha...sneaky bit of self promo there. I have a fic up called All The Clintasha Whump. 31 glorious one-shots, one of which includes Natasha attempting suicide.

Clint had been too wrapped up in his anger during those first few hours to notice anything was wrong.

But when twenty hours hit, he heard soft crying.

Unmistakably a woman's cry.

Clint got close to the wall, sighing. 

"Hey, Kid, you alright?"

Wanda inhaled sharply, now the cries were muffled like she had her hand to her mouth. 

"F...fine. Just...didn't expect to be here. And the collar is not fun."

"I know it's not, but don't worry. We'll be out of here in no time. Maybe you should come spend some time at the farm. You like animals?"

Wanda laughed weakly. "Yes, I love animals."

"Then it's settled. You'll come stay." 

"Thank you, Clint."

"Of course, Kid."

Wanda quietened and Clint thought she had fallen asleep.

The next four hours were uneventful.

But then Clint could hear something being pushed and moved, and since they had nothing else, it had to be the bed. 

"Wanda? Kid, what the hell are you doing in there?"

Silence. 

"Wanda?!"

A choked hush of a voice. 

"I'm sorry."

Clint felt sick and he moved to the wall they shared. 

"What are you sorry for? Hey, talk to me."

A sob. 

"We won't be in here forever, this isn't permanent. Wanda?"

Now he could hear Scott start awake from his nap, and Sam move to the bars. 

"Barton?" Sam frowned. "What's happening?"

The sound of more shuffling, metal creaking.

Then Clint panicked.

Chokes. Gasps. 

Swinging.

No.

But he'd heard those sounds before, so many years ago with Natasha. 

"Wanda?!" Clint shouted, running to the bars and waving at the cameras. "What are you idiots fucking doing?!"

He slammed into the bars, as the sounds of Wanda choking and gasping started to lessen.

That wasn't a good thing.

She was out of air. Dying.

Then someone at the stairs. "Finally, hurry up!"

But there were no guards, just Steve.

His eyes were wide as he rushed forward. "Wanda-" he choked out.

His fingers flipped through the keycards, and he tried all of them but one when Wanda's bars slid across.

Steve threw the cards into Clint's cell and the archer took less than five seconds to get his own bars open.

The two men rushed into the woman's cell.

Steve stood, frozen.

But Clint had been here before.

He grabbed the blanket, teeth ripping through the material.

He caught Wanda as her body tipped forward, free from the bed frame.

Steve moved again, easily pulling off the rope around her legs.

Clint reached out, rolled her onto her side, fingers pressing against the bleeding skin of her throat.

Nothing.

"No." Clint ground his teeth and moved her onto her back. 

"Tell me you brought back up." He hissed, very quickly lacing his hands together and pressing down against her sternum.

He'd been trained in CPR, but more than that, he'd had a lot of real life practice.

"Outside." Steve moved to stand.

"Med kit?"

"I would think so."

"Then go, get it!"

Steve rushed up the stairs and Clint continued to push down on her chest, counting in his head and moving in quick succession.

He tilted the woman's head back and breathed into her mouth, turning his head to see if her chest rose.

Barely.

So she'd done damage to her airway.

Shit.

Rescue breathing wouldn't work. They needed to intubate.

He only hoped Steve's back up had a fucking good med kit, not one of those shit ones with bandaids and cold patches.

"Come on, Kid." Clint grunted, continuing compressions with one hand, just as good as when he used two.

His free hand tilted her head back, fingers feeling for a pulse once more. 

Nothing.

Where the hell was Steve?

"Don't do this, Kid." Clint whispered.

"Please."


	3. Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of medical stuff in this chapter so be aware if that triggers you.

Clint was starting to panic.

Wanda's lips were blue and no amount of compressions would help if she didn't have air. 

Clattering behind him alerted him to Steve's presence as the man tipped the medical bags out on the floor.

"You know cpr?" Clint asked.

"Yes." Steve moved closer on his knees. 

"Keep on doing that." Clint searched through the bags as Steve continued the compressions.

The archer brought the defibrillator over, but first emptied out the intubation kit.

He'd only ever done it once before. But he had to try.

He sat at Wanda's head, her body shaking with each compression.

He tipped her head back, his teeth ripping open the packaging.

He pulled her mouth open, taking a breath before slowly winding the tubing through her teeth and down her throat.

Sure it was in the right place, he attached the ambu bag. 

"Steve, stop for a second."

Steve pulled his hands back and Clint pressed the bag, exhaling shakily as her chest rose.

He didn't have time to feel relief, her heart was still not beating.

"Steve, I need you to push this bag three times quickly, whenever compressions stop."

Clint muttered a soft apology as he pushed the blue shirt they all wore up to her neck.

He quickly peeled the pads of the defibrillator and stuck them onto her chest, no time to even think. Just act.

The monitor calculated her pulse, and then spoke 'shock advised'.

"Don't touch her." Clint warned, eyes making sure Steve wasn't touching her, and that he was clear himself.

He pressed the button and her body jolted.

The machine beeped once before continuing its flatline.

"Breathing." Clint ordered, balling his fist and hitting her sternum once before moving again to press down on her chest.

A snap sounded through the room and Clint cursed softly but didn't let the fact he'd broken a rib deter him.

He pulled back and Steve pressed the bag again.

"Please, kid." Clint whispered, watching the monitor before telling Steve to back up.

Wanda jolted again, and this time the screen registered a heartbeat.

"Keep using the bag, she can't breathe on her own."

Clint pulled her shirt down, one hand cupping her cheek.

Her eyelids fluttered but didn't open.

But her lips were pink, and her cheeks had colour.

That was enough for now.

Clint looked up, only now registering the fact Sam and Scott were watching from their cells.

"You need to get her to a hospital." Clint brushed hair from her forehead.

"We have somewhere set up." Steve nodded, pressing evenly on the bag.

"Okay. Then you need to go there now." Clint slowly pushed himself up to his feet.

"What about-" 

"We'll figure it out. You got us the keys." He said firmly.

Steve nodded, quickly and easily lifting the woman into the crook of one arm, the other hand continued to press on the bag.

Clint gathered the medical supplies and slipped the bag onto Steve's shoulder.

"I know you can't tell me where you're going. But call me if anything happens. When you get there. I just...need to know she's okay."

"I will. I'm so sorry this happened, Clint."

"Me too." The archer shook his head. "Go."

Clint bent to pick up the keys, quickly letting the other two men out their cells.

"Now what?" Sam asked.

"Now we go home. If they try to drag us back, they won't succeed. Scott?"

"I'm ready to get back to my daughter." His voice shook just a little.

"Man, me too." Clint sighed. Getting home to Natasha, his kids, his sister and his nephew...that was all he wanted.

This day had been god awful.

Wanda was going to be okay, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey in this fic, like in others I post, Natasha is his wife, Cooper and Lila are their kids, Laura is his sister and Nathaniel is Laura's son. It doesn't take away from the fic but it is what I prefer to write. Hope that clears that up. I hope you enjoy. There will probably be one more chapter. <3


	4. Wakanda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I know this may not be how you wanted this fic to end, but this is already longer than I intended it to be. One day, I'll go back and fill in that year. But as I have dealt with mental health etc for most my life, I don't fully know how to write something that I haven't reached yet; recovery. One day, I promise. I hope you enjoy the conclusion of this story (for now). Thanks to everyone who read this. 
> 
> Mentions of the suicide attempt and also referenced self harm.
> 
> Also for the sake of this fic cause Infinty War is two years after Civil War and house arrest (I think) was also about two years, for this story house arrest was for a year. 
> 
> Ukranian translations (may be wrong but):
> 
> sonyachne svitlo - sunshine  
> Dobre - Good  
> Duzhe hotovyy - very ready  
> kokhana - sweetheart/beloved

A year had passed.

Clint had spoken to Wanda regularly over the last months and he was constantly in contact with T'Challa and Shuri for updates.

Today was the day.

Clint and Natasha were leaving for Wakanda.

Clint had been cooped up on house arrest for those long months, going stir crazy.

Natasha had visited Wakanda regurlary, every month on the dot, she didn't miss it for anything.

It had been good for all involved, to have outside contact.

Wanda wasn't the only member of the team staying in Wakanda.

Bucky had been there for about the same amount of time. Had been in cryo for three months before Shuri had figured out how to get the conditioning out of his head.

Because Bucky and Wanda were there, Steve also spent most of his time there.

Both Bucky and Wanda had healed immensely there, thanks to T'Challa and his sister, and his contacts around the world.

They had found the best psychiatrists, the best medications.

The fresh air, building work, playing with the children, had all gone a long way to helping.

Clint had heard how well Wanda was doing but he would not be fully settled until he saw her for himself.

On the plane, Natasha leaned over and squeezed Clint's hand before leaning her head against his shoulder.

Natasha had been amazing.

She'd been juggling both halves of the splintered team, working around the world, spending time with her husband and their children, making the trips to Wakanda and dealing with the emotions of a suicidal woman and a man who didn't know why he recognised her.

Now finally, Clint could share the load. 

It was time for Natasha to rest, recuperate, and focus on herself for the first time in a year.

Clint smiled, enjoying the flight.

He always did like the skies.

He had missed the outside dearly.

The plane landed and Clint took Natasha's hand.

Five people waited for them and Clint had never been happier to see a particular brunette.

Wanda grinned as his arms wrapped around her, laughed as he held her for a good minute.

"Clint, c'mon, you're making Steve jealous." 

Clint pulled back. "You look good, kid."

Wanda pulled at the dress she wore, a present from Shuri when she reached one month self harm free.

She'd been very angry when she'd woken up. She hadn't been grateful. Hadn't wanted to be alive.

She had taken to cutting herself and had been doing it for almost seven months straight when she turned the corner.

That was when she had started to flourish. Paying attention in therapy, getting outside, using her powers for good, trivial things; getting balls from trees, helping build shelters, keeping the animals together during storms.

The dress was long sleeved, so Clint couldn't see the damage. But he did take a sneaky look at her neck.

He knew realistically there would be no marks there except for the possibility of a scar.

He'd been imagining the scar worse than it really was.

It was thin and almost white, and didn't even go all the way around her neck.

He hummed, reaching for the arrow necklace that sat there.

Natasha had given Wanda the necklace Clint had gifted her, said she needed to know they were both with her when she felt alone.

"Suits you." Clint hummed, trying not to smother her, he said hello to Steve and Bucky before profusely thanking T'Challa and Shuri.

Natasha gripped Wanda tight, pressing a kiss to the woman's forehead. "How are you feeling, sonyachne svitlo?"

"Dobre." Wanda smiled. "Today is a good day."

"Are you ready?" Natasha looped her arm through Wanda's.

"Duzhe hotovyy." A pause. "Are you sure it's okay?"

"We have a lot of space and it will be nice. Lila is very much looking forward to meeting you." They headed to Steve and Bucky.

Natasha said hello and Wanda said goodbye.

The two men and her had grown very close.

Bucky hummed, cupping her jaw with his hand, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

"Take care, kokhana. Call if need anything. You'll always have a bed here if Natalia's children get too much." His lips twisted in a smile.

"Bite me, James." Natasha laughed, hugging him fiercly.

It had taken time for Bucky to remember but finally he had.

They had a past and they had managed to form a relationship far better than any they had had in The Red Room. 

Then Steve, the only other person present, who had seen Wanda hanging.

His eyes shone as he too hugged her, hand stroking her hair. "Buck may be an ass but he's right. Call us." He said firmly.

"I will, I will." Wanda laughed. "It's not like you won't see me again."

"I know." And this time, he did know it. 

After Natasha and Wanda had spent at least five minutes talking with T'Challa and Shuri, the two women and Clint headed for the plane.

Once sat down, Wanda waved out the window at the others as Clint wrapped his arm around Natasha's waist. 

"Ready to come home?" He asked and Wanda looked over her shoulder, smile and eyes bright.

"I'm ready for anything."


End file.
